i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
