return my video game
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
