You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
