It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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