i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize