the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
