where does the pee come out of this thing
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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