i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just googled if crying burns calories
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
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