Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
