weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i would punch a child for taco bell
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
