There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
