Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
