I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
