dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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