dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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