how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
