You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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