Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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