is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I need moral support for this bender
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
