He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize