Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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