Non-Jews are for practice
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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