I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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