im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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