I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
