Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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