normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
bring money and cleavage
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
