It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
