; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
