i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
