roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
