i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
