Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
