I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
