real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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