dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I forget how to act sober
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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