Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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