Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
