Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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