The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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