he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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