I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
