the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
