i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
