I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
