I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
