brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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