Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
