The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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