i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
