I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Sext me about skeletons
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
