glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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