Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
