yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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