yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
