Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just pee around me
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
