just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
