At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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