I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
