I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize